{Books They Need To Write} Colleen Hoover Edition

Unless you live under a rock on some desolate island somewhere, I’m sure you know my queen, Colleen Hoover.  (she’s also my imaginary BFF. Have you SEEN her on Instagram? HILARIOUS.) One of my favorite authors of all time, I’ve devoured and adored every word she’s ever published.

One of my favorite things about Colleen’s books? She writes the PERFECT boyfriend. She really does. Generally, after I read a Colleen Hoover novel, I stop speaking to my husband for about a week, simply because he isn’t Will Cooper. Or Dean Holder. Or Daniel Wesley. Or Ridge Lawson. It kinda makes me sad.

Her leading males are sweet, sexy, sensitive, funny, talented, and their love radiates from the page. Please, allow me to illuminate you:

“It feels like her air just became my air and I suddenly want to take in fewer breaths in order to ensure she never runs out.” — Daniel from Finding Cinderella

“If I were a carpenter, I would build you a window to my soul. But I would leave that window shut and locked, so that every time you tried to look through it all you would see is your own reflection. You would see that my soul is a reflection of you.” — Will from Point of Retreat

“I need to know that you’re feeling every single thing that I’m feeling the moment my lips touch yours. Because I want your first kiss to be the best first kiss in the history of first kisses.” – Holder from Hopeless

“I’m shaking my head, unable to get it through my mind that this girl is willingly mine and she’s perfect and beautiful and good and, holy shit, I love her so much.” — Ridge from Maybe Someday

“She deserves to be kissed by someone who loves her. Someone who spends every waking moment trying to do everything right by her. Someone who would rather die than see her hurt. She doesn’t deserve to be kissed by anyone other than me.” — Will from This Girl

 

Pause for extreme swoon.

BUT.

Clearly, there is a distinct hole in my Colleen Hoover library. I’ve scoured Goodreads, Amazon, and Colleen’s page, and I cannot find any evidence of the book that I am looking for. So I would like to humbly suggest that Colleen give serious thought to adding this book to her writing schedule:

You can’t tell me that Colleen wouldn’t ROCK this book. If she were to write this, it should be given to EVERY male upon his 16th birthday. Imagine the joy and fulfillment amongst women the world over if every man were to read and follow this book. There would be no more war, couples would be too busy staring lovingly into each others eyes. PMS would be a thing of the past, women would be so fucking happy, they wouldn’t be able to see straight! Hell, women would be smiling so much, their skin wouldn’t even be ABLE to wrinkle!

The obesity epidemic would come to an end, since kissing, among other *ahem* activities, burns calories, and we wouldn’t be able to stop doing any of them!

Colleen, if you see this, it has become clear that you NEED to write this book. The future of civilization depends on you!

Meet Colleen Hoover

Colleen Hoover is the New York Times bestselling author of Slammed, Point of Retreat, This Girl, Hopeless, Losing Hope, Finding Cinderella, and Maybe Someday. Colleen lives in Texas with her husband and their three boys.  Please visit ColleenHoover.com.

**Obviously, this piece is written for fun, and this is not an actual Colleen Hoover novel. Book cover was created by The Scarlet Siren and is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.